#mindfulness

[Podcast] Coping With Stress and Setting Boundaries

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Do you ever find it hard to deal with a person who is screaming at you?

Recently, I was a guest on a podcast called Heart Healthy Hustle. I shared tools to deal with confrontational situations including the Dog Face Technique.

The host laughed a lot and said, “I have never heard that before, I am going to use it.”

Let me share this podcast interview I gave for the Heart Healthy Hustle podcast, where you can learn:

  • How to cope with the stress of losing a loved one
  • How to use mindful driving to cope with driving stress
  • How to set boundaries with people
  • What message I would give to my younger self
  • Many more tools to cope with day to day life situations
Click here to listen to the podcast or download on iTunes.

I am grateful to Jonathan Fredrick for being such a gracious host.

He got me to share so many valuable tools that I am sure will help many listeners. I hope they will help you too.

Jonathan brings a lot of value to his listeners, and I recommend you subscribe to his Heart Healthy Hustle podcast for more tools for health and wellness.

Let me know which of the tools you found helpful in this podcast. As always, please share any feedback, suggestions or questions so I can provide more valuable tools for you.

Dr. Rozina

#1 Best Selling Author, Speaker, and Psychiatrist
www.drrozina.com

Join me on FacebookTwitterLinkedIn, or sign up for my newsletter

The Stress to Joy® program is available in
eBook,

Print Book 

Audio Book

Online Course

Guided Gratitude Journal

[Podcast] When Things Do Not Go According to Plan

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Do you ever feel frustrated when things don’t go according to your plan?

Most people do from time to time.

In my podcast interview debut, you can learn:

  • How I got frustrated at the airport when I was stuck in the big security line and missed my flight.
  • How I had to use The Stress to Joy steps of ACR (Acknowledge, Calm Down, Reflect and focus on what was and wasn’t in my control)
  • How my friend Sam learned to control her stress reaction with mindful driving
  • How you can decrease your stress symptoms by balancing your emotional coping account

Click here to listen to the podcast.

I am grateful to Joanne Victoria for being such a gracious host. She made me feel comfortable while interviewing. I am sure our friendly conversation will help you and many other listeners.

If you like podcasts, I recommend The San.IT Project. She interviews experts in the areas of personal and professional development and brings a lot of value to her listeners.

Let me know how these tips and tools help you and if you have any suggestions or questions.

 

Dr. Rozina

#1 Best Selling Author, Speaker, and Psychiatrist

www.drrozina.com

Join me on FacebookTwitter, LinkedIn, or sign up for my newsletter

The Stress to Joy® program is available in
eBook,

Print Book 

Audio Book

Online Course

Guided Gratitude Journal

 

 

 

 

Names have been changed for privacy.

This content is for educational purposes only.

Please consult licensed medical or health professionals for personalized treatment recommendations.

how to stay positive

How to Stay Positive and in the “Present” When the Present is Not Pleasant

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How to Stay Positive and in the “Present” When the Present is Not Pleasant

Do you ever find that you can stay mindful in the present moment and enjoy it if it is pleasant, but it is harder when it is not or when things are not going according to your desire?

Let me share a technique to stay mindful in the present moment even when things are not going your way in this story.

The other day, Kelly and I were driving to a meeting. It was raining a lot. The traffic was moving so slow that we were at risk of being late for the meeting and my friend was getting frustrated. She said; “I hate this rain.” I asked her; “How does this thought  help you?” She replied; “It doesn’t. It makes me feel pretty bad.” When I reminded her of mindfulness, she said sarcastically; “This is what I exactly wanted. I love being stuck in traffic due to the rain.”

Is that mindfulness?

No.

So what can she do? How can she shift her thinking so she can become mindful in the moment even if she doesn’t like it?

She and I tried to apply the three steps of Stress to Joy system which are:

ACR: Acknowledge, Calm and Reflect.

  1. Acknowledge: We noticed and acknowledged our circumstances ( rain, traffic and running late) and our reactions.
  2. Calm: We calmed down by bringing attention to the moment. We became aware of what we saw ( the rain, the traffic, the sky and slowly changing perspective). We noticed what we heard (the sound of rain and car and our breathing and talking). We observed how it felt on our skins (the temperature) and the kinesthetic feeling of the car moving. In essence, we became mindful by bringing attention to each moment intentionally as it was unfolding without judgment (whether we liked the experience or not). Even when we felt a strong judgment, we observed it.
  3. Reflect: We reflected what was in our control and what was not. Rain or traffic was not in our control but driving carefully and making the most of the experience was. We could not change the weather to our desire, but we could adjust our desire to the weather. I shared with her one of the poems I had made in the past for my son to replace the poem he had learned in the school;

“Rain, Rain go away, come again another day.”

(a bad attitude to teach the kids especially when they live in a place like Seattle).

 

We replaced it with :

“When it rains, I want rain,

When it shines, I want shine,

When it’s cold, I want cold,

When it’s hot, I want hot,

I want whatever the weather is,

and, therefore,

I am always happy, as I always have, what I want.”

 

So my friend and I decided to focus on what we could do. We tried to stay aware, moment by moment, both what was outside of us and how we were reacting and adapted our thoughts. My friend did not say I love rain ( she does when she is playing in it) but she changed her thinking from “I hate this rain” to “I notice that I am getting frustrated at this time as I am running late. Rain is outside my circle. I have done what I could; I left in time, I am driving carefully, and I have informed my contact that I may run late. Now, there is no sense in continuously worrying about it. So I am going to enjoy this moment. We talked, listened to music and noticed the beauty and greenery made possible by the rain. We enjoyed the changing scenes and my friend commented; “I was so occupied and worried that I was not noticing all the beauty around me. I could have missed all this if I had not changed my thoughts.”

My friend had a choice. She could have continued to ruminate on what was not in her control or change her thoughts and perspective.

You also have a choice.

When you don’t choose to change, you are choosing to continue your pattern.

If you don’t notice how your words, thoughts, and attitudes are affecting you like my friend, you may continue to feel frustrated and irritated with daily stressors and may say or do things that do not help. If you do adapt your perspective by acknowledging, calming and reflecting, you may be able to decrease your stress feelings and increase your health and happiness despite your circumstances. You will be able to stay positive and mindful in the present even when the present is not pleasant. What are you going to choose?

Please share with me your choice. If you liked this article and felt it can help others, please share.

You can learn more about this approach in my upcoming book; “Stress to Joy; Your toolkit to Restore Peace of Mind in Minutes.”

Check out more blogs like this and sign up for the updates at www.DrRozina.com.  You will get immediate access to free 5-minute audio: “Relaxation for busy people-Feet to Floor” that you can easily adapt in your busy life.

 

Dedicated to your health and happiness.

 

Dr. Rozina

www.drrozina.com

www.stresstojoy.com

 

suicide prevention

Suicide and Stress; How to Cope with a Suicide in the Community.

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How to Cope with a Suicide in the Community.

Has your heart ever ached when you heard about somebody committing suicide? How do you cope with such a loss, especially when it is a youth in the community? The chances of getting affected by such news are increasing as there are approximately 123 suicides per day in the US. According to CDC data, suicide is currently one of the 10 leading causes of death overall and within each age group 10–64. Hearing stats is hard but hearing about someone you know committing suicide is harder. Let me share with you my recent experience and, hopefully, some of the tools that helped me may help you too.

Recently, I went to my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, and the teacher told me a young high schooler, one of her student’s brother, had committed suicide. She told me how hard it was for her to keep herself together. This boy was a ninth grader, a soccer player, a choir member and overall a very good student. He was also her student a few years back. She was feeling grief herself and was trying to figure out how to share the news with her students that their classmate had lost her brother.

As I was seeing patients that day, it was hard to keep my feelings under control. But I just focused on my patient’s needs and that helped me get through my day. I just wanted to go home and hug my kids as soon as possible. When I picked the phone to send a condolence text to the mother of this boy, I saw her last message about taking her son to a soccer game. I felt miserable and could not stop my tears. If I was feeling this way, I couldn’t imagine how that mother must be feeling.

I needed to use some of the tools I teach in the Stress to Joy program.

I acknowledged that; “I am feeling grief. I am a human being, and it is ok to feel sad upon hearing such news. I am a mother and felt for this mother.”

Gradually, I calmed down by letting my emotions flow, and bringing attention to what I was doing. I was driving home, so I started driving mindfully, bringing my attention to the moment. I became aware of my experience of both external and internal environment. I observed the sights, the sounds, and the smells. I noticed how I felt in my body as my hands were maneuvered the steering wheel, and my feet were automatically shifted pressure between the accelerator and brakes.

Once I calmed down, I started reflecting, initially in my head, then calling a friend and later in my journal. My friend said that when she heard about a suicide like that, she felt horrified. She started appreciating what she had in her life and stopped complaining about small day to day issues with her kids. I also started appreciating.

As I reflected, I realized that in our individualistic society, people might think that their life is their own, and their actions don’t affect others. In fact, we are social beings and our actions affect many people, even those that we may not know.

I wondered, what could have been the stressors that surpassed this boy’s capacity to cope that he reverted to such a drastic action? How can we prevent things like this from happening?

I know that there is a misconception that only people with a diagnosed mental illness will commit suicide. Although the rate of suicide is higher in people with mental illness, there are many people who are superficially doing fine in their day-to-day is life, but, when the stressors increase more than their capacity to cope, they break.

 

So what can we do?

Like in case of an infection, it is important to get antibiotics when infection occurs, and at the same time, it is also important to develop healthy habits like hand-washing to prevent more infections.

As in the case of a heart attack, it is critical that the person gets immediate care, and at the same time, it is very important to develop heart-healthy habits to prevent another heart attack.

Similarly, in case of suicide, it is critical to get treatment for someone having suicidal thoughts, and at the same time, it is also very important to think about developing mind healthy habits to prevent the suicidal thoughts from occurring.

But, do you have to wait till you develop an infection in order to start building healthy habits like hand washing? Or do you have to wait for a heart attack to happen in order to start developing heart-healthy habits? Similarly, you don’t have to wait for suicidal thoughts to occur before strengthening mind healthy habits.

When you develop mind healthy habits and get early treatment if necessary, you increase your resilience and joy which helps you cope with stress without breaking down and taking such drastic actions. The stress that leads up to suicide is temporary, but suicide is permanent. When a person takes his/her own life, in their mind, they think it is a solution; they don’t think that it could be a bigger problem. Who knows what happens after death?  What if there is more pain or what if you have to come back and relive all the pain and still complete your life cycle?

I asked myself, what can I do to prevent suicides in the community?

I recognized that stopping that boy from killing himself was not in my control, but I can help some people from doing something like that in future. it is in my circle of influence to teach the mind training tools to as many people as possible so they can manage their stress before it manages them and prevent unnecessary suffering and possibly suicide.

Therefore, I have been working on prevention education wherever and whenever possible in form of individual teaching, group, and writing. I have collected many mind training tools from my life and practice as a psychiatrist for the last 17 years in form of the Stress to Joy program. My mission is to help at least a million people minimize their stress and prevent unnecessary suffering while maximizing their joy.

Many people who have done a lot of work in this area and this is my contribution to that work. What can you do?

Train your mind. Learn to dance with your stress instead of fighting with it. Adapt to your life challenges and see them as opportunities for growth and develop happiness and resilience to be able to face stress in your life.

Join me and share these tools with other people in your circle of influence.

Contribute your skills, knowledge and time in improving the society as a whole so we decrease the overall stress we create for everyone including our youth.

Please, join me in spreading these mind training tools and resources. Who knows how many lives you would be able to save. Remember, you may not know who is suffering because people can hide their distress until it is too late. I have also attached info about the suicide prevention line below.

SAVE; Suicide Awareness and Voices of Education: https://save.org/

After a Suicide: A Toolkit for Schools: https://afsp.org/our-work/education/after-a-suicide-a-toolkit-for-schools/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Call 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Use the online Lifeline Crisis Chat.

Both are free and confidential.  You’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor in your area.

 

If you like to learn more mind training tools, I share many in my blogs, book, and course that you can access at www.drrozina.com. If you haven’t already signed up to receive my updates, you can still do that and get a free audio download “Relaxation for busy people” at www.stresstojoy.com

Dedicated to your health and happiness,

 

Dr. Rozina

Psychiatrist, Author, and Public Speaker

 

 

All comments will appear after moderator review. The tools and techniques I teach have proven to be highly successful for improving emotional, mental, and physical balance, but they are not intended to replace treatments prescribed by licensed medical or mental health professional.

meditation

Calm: How to relax your mind when there is so much going on.

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Stress to Joy – Chapter Two Sneak Peek

“Stress to Joy – Your Toolkit for Peace of Mind in Minutes”  is set to come out March 21st! As a special “thank you” for reading my blog, I am going to post some of the content you will find in my book. Check back every day until the 21st to see what I have shared.

 Calm: How to relax your mind when there is so much going on.

….   When your thoughts are not going to ten thousand other things, and when you are experiencing what is happening at the moment, you become mindful. When you are present-minded—besides avoiding accidents—you can feel more relaxed, and you can enjoy your life. You can focus better and become more productive. When your mind is present, you can think clearly and solve any problems that come your way.

Being mindful also helps to lower your blood pressure and your body’s inflammatory reactions, thus improving many health conditions.

You may ask, “If it is good for us, why do people have difficulty staying mindful?”

There are a few reasons for not being able to stay mindful. Most people can focus on a specific task or project when it is unique, challenging, or novel, but their minds start wandering when they are doing something that is routine. Do you ever notice that you arrive at a destination and have no recollection of the path you took or what beautiful scenes you passed, especially when you are driving on familiar routes? Your mind tends to go on autopilot.

A mechanism that was initially meant to help you decrease the work, stops helping when used without awareness. Instead of staying focused on the task of driving, your mind starts rewinding and reviewing the mental videos of past events or imagining future events, which is what happened when I got into that accident.

This wandering mind is natural, and scientists call it default thinking (I call Mindlessness). In this default thinking mode, your thoughts are automatic, undirected, and superficial. These thoughts are sometimes useful, but they are generally irrelevant to what you are doing at the moment. You are looking outside, but not paying attention to anything. Most people spend half their lives in this default thinking mode. It is not necessarily bad…the problem is how much time they spend in that mode versus the time they spend in a focused, sensing mode.

One of my friends said that she is always thinking, even when observing. She has a tendency to observe all the things that are going wrong and that causes more problems for her. If mindfulness is helpful and if it is thinking about what is around you, why is it causing a problem for her? Is she practicing mindfulness? No.

Mindfulness is not thinking or finding faults in everything. Mindfulness is experiencing the moment. Although thinking and experiencing are occurring together, becoming aware and giving attention to your experience, including your thoughts, without judgment, is mindfulness. Let’s take the example of observing a sunset.

Scenario One: You are sensing (seeing), appreciating the colors, and enjoying the experience. The thoughts are still there about the colors and how much you are appreciating them, but they are not dominant. They are in the background. You are aware of them, but your focus is mostly on the experience of the sunset.

Scenario Two: You notice the sunset and the very next moment you start thinking about it, judging, or comparing it to some other experience you had in the past. Or, you start thinking about something different. Before you know it, the sun is gone and the moment has passed. You missed enjoying the experience because you were lost in your thoughts. You were not mindful. What happened?

*********************************

In chapter two, you will learn:

 

  • Mindfulness to improve calm and focus
  • Mindful Driving to calm and decrease driving stress.
  • Meditation different types to calm busy mind
  • Feet to Floor – 1-minute relaxation exercise for busy people
  • Active Meditation to calm active minds
  • Art Meditation to calm creative minds

 

 

Do you already have the audio for “Relaxation for Busy People” and “Mindful Driving”? If not, you can get the audio Feet to Floor here, and you can get the audio for Mindful Driving in the article Holiday Stress Relief – Decrease Driving Stress

 

Did you enjoy this “sneak peek” of Chapter Two? Please let me know what you think in the comments!

To your health and happiness,

Dr. Rozina

 

All comments will appear after moderator review. The tools and techniques I teach have proven to be highly successful for improving emotional, mental and physical balance, but they are not intended to replace treatments prescribed by licensed medical or health professionals.

 

Holiday Stress Relief: How to Decrease Driving Stress.

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Holiday Stress Relief:

How to Decrease Driving Stress.

 

Do you sometimes feel the holidays become more stressful than joyful? What can you do to minimize the stress and maximize the joy? There are many causes of stress during the holidays and may require different strategies. Mayo clinic’s post on Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping shares some great tips to prevent holiday stress due to multiple reasons. In this blog, let me share some tips to cope with one of the causes of holiday stress that comes from the need to drive during this rush season. Whether you are trying to go shopping, to a party, or just trying to make it to the airport in time to catch a flight.

There’s a myth that driving in traffic has to be stressful and you can’t do anything about it. It’s true that you can’t control traffic, but you can still control what you think, say, or do while driving. You can become angry and worried; do what you can do and let go of the worry and anger. To be able to think and make proper choices, you need to first keep calm. In my upcoming book, “Stress to Joy” I share a story of a friend named Sam, who was struggling with the stress of being on the road several hours a day due to her long commute. One technique that helped her feel less stressed during her drive and transform her driving experience from a stressful to a joyful activity was Mindful Driving.

The basic principle of mindfulness is staying fully aware of each moment and experiencing whatever you are doing with open-mindedness and without judgment. So, to drive mindfully means observing and experiencing the process of driving with full presence of mind. It is such a simple process yet you may notice the common tendency of your mind to wander everywhere except where you are, especially on routine routes. Many times, you reach your destination without awareness and enjoyment of all the beautiful scenes on your way. You may be feeling frustrated being stuck in traffic, worrying about being late or thinking about something different. It all adds up to stress. When you feel stress like this, you feel exhausted and unable to enjoy your destination fully. If you practice mindfulness while driving, your mind cannot only focus on the process of driving and enjoy the scenes on the way, but it can also focus and enjoy the destination as you feel less exhausted. I have recorded a guided mindfulness exercise to help develop the skill of mindful driving that you can  download for free.

Going forward, remind yourself to drive mindfully every time you drive so you can decrease your stress and increase your joy while driving for fun or work.

For more tips like this visit www.DrRozina.com , sign up for the free newsletter, and receive a free audio guided exercise to calm your mind and body rapidly while transitioning between activities called Feet to Floor.

 

To your health and happiness.

Dr. Rozina

The tools and techniques I teach have proven to be highly successful for improving health and happiness for many but they are not intended to replace treatment. I cannot take any liability, as engaging with me online is for empowering you with education only and does not establish a treatment relationship. Please consult your personal healthcare provider for specific treatment recommendations.

Comments will appear after approval by the mediator. 


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DR ROZINA

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Everett, WA 98012
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STRESS TO JOY by DR ROZINA


21 DAYS of STRESS TO JOY